Skip to content
Secret Umps
The inside edge of club cricket
  • About
  • Posts

About

The sun never sets on the British umpire
 
It is around twenty past seven on a glorious late July evening and I am standing in a match between neighbouring clubs in the third tier of the League. The penultimate over is about to begin. Chasing two-hundred-and-thirty, the batting side are around fifteen short with two wickets in hand – all options are on the table. The tension is palpable as a raucous pavilion bar looks on. It has been a superb game of ebb-and-flow League cricket played in the right spirit. I glance over to my colleague who is taking the bowler’s end and we smile – there is plenty at stake.
 
The ninth wicket falls on the second ball of the final over, a neat catch taken by first slip. In walks number eleven, a forty-plus medium pacer who can also hold a bat without the scorers needing to sharpen their pencils.
 
The next four deliveries will determine the outcome of the previous five-hundred-and-ninety-six. The batter plays two balls with the confidence and technical skill of a number seven and allows the other two to go through. Local bragging rights for the coming year are shared. The players give myself and colleague a guard of honour into the pavilion as the bar – now in a state of frenzy – cheer us in. It has been a wonderful day, certainly the standout match of the two-hundred  encounters I have officiated.
 
I am a qualified cricket umpire with double digit years of experience standing in a Saturday League somewhere in England. I played cricket at club level on and off from 1973 to 1993 and saw many icons of the game play live.
 
Over the years I have accumulated a rich vault of experiences and anecdotes on the squares, in pavilion bars and beyond. Secret Umps provides an insight into the minutiae and dynamics of League cricket from the best view in the house.
 
I love umpiring and have a great deal of respect for my colleagues, the players and club officials, all of whom work and play tirelessly to keep grassroots cricket strong. I am proud and humbled to be part of the circuit.
 

I hope this blog will be enjoyed by cricket lovers everywhere and if people take up umpiring after reading it, that would be a real bonus.

I welcome feedback, please engage through Email.

Secret Umps

 

   

Posts

  • Folsom praise December 15, 2021
  • The Wizzer of Oz March 2, 2021
  • Are you being served? February 22, 2021
  • Make it a double February 19, 2021
  • Dog Day Afternoon February 12, 2021
  • The ex-Prozac January 25, 2021
  • Bowled over January 21, 2021
  • Psycho. Frenzy. Rope. January 9, 2021
  • Ticket to the wicket December 30, 2020
  • My Sweet Lord’s December 26, 2020
  • Keepers of the peace December 22, 2020
  • Top of the morning December 20, 2020
  • Dramatis Personae (2) December 10, 2020
  • Hamlet with the wince November 14, 2020
  • The bases of umpiring November 8, 2020
  • Heavy mettle November 4, 2020
  • Captains’ blog October 13, 2020
  • Mrs Umps – just one more thing September 22, 2020
  • Covid Cricket – vaccine lyrical in the Summer of Love September 16, 2020
  • Days I’ll remember all my life September 3, 2020
  • The satis factory August 19, 2020
  • Adding injury to insult July 6, 2020
  • All work or no play June 14, 2020
  • Catcher in the wry June 9, 2020
  • Dramatis Personae (1) June 3, 2020
  • Wet Wet Wet? Take That May 14, 2020
  • Keeping a low profile May 10, 2020
  • Bats out of Hell May 4, 2020
  • Carry on umpiring April 20, 2020
  • Line dancing April 17, 2020
  • Strangers on a train April 12, 2020
  • Change of pace April 10, 2020
  • Tales of the unexpected April 9, 2020
  • Tobacco Road March 2, 2020
  • The scarecrow on crack December 28, 2019
  • The next postcode December 26, 2019
  • Tarquin and Icarus December 25, 2019
  • Crouching Tiger December 17, 2019
  • Two for the road December 14, 2019
  • High Noon July 10, 2019
  • No logo June 29, 2019
  • I field good June 1, 2019
  • Baby you can drive my carbs May 27, 2019
  • Able was I ‘ere I saw LB May 19, 2019
  • Dull as dishwater May 6, 2019
  • Fred Karno’s Circus April 11, 2019